(From Tim's Diary ) Delhi 2nd Aug 91. I'm definitely going back home. Stuart's going to get it. I've got to have it out with him. He's not going to get away with this. He's totally ridiculed everything I discovered. When Kate showed me what he intended to print...I couldn't believe it. I knew he was on a different trip to me...but I hadn't realised he was my enemy. Thank God my stay in Delhi is almost over. I've been feeling terrible...but somehow I've managed to get all my papers straight and my plane ticket...paid for by Kate. Delhi's a nightmare...after living in a cave in the Himalayas. Master always said the whirld was weird. How right he is.
I can hardly believe what's happened to Kate. She's become so WILD. She's definitely left the old whirld behind for good. She never wants to leave the Himalayas and to prove it she burnt her passport. Of course the beauty of the Himalayas and the grace of the Master are one and the same for Kate. She's very fortunate. She's lit up with kundalini energy. For the last four weeks Master has been giving us explicit instruction in yogic sex. At times it is extremely funny. He sits beside us...as we...totally naked...practice breathing...whilst in various tantric positions. It all seems to be down to concentration.
Usually we have to stay motionless...and let one's spirit explore the other person's essence...whilst of course one is being explored. It's wild. I of course am forbidden to ever ejaculate...which is not a problem to me. On the other hand, it amuses Master no end to see Kate exploding in multiple orgasms. It really is terrific fun...and amazingly energising. Occasionally we are allowed to move. That's when Master gives us the cue by chanting Om Namaha Shivaya. It's usually after Kate has been sitting on my erect penis for some time. She then starts moving slowly to Master's slow rhythm. Very nice too!
22nd August . Whilst I've been in Delhi, Kate has been in silent retreat in the recluse's alcove at the back of Master's cave. I Arrived back very tired after a six day trek from Almora. Slept at the back of the cave. The last few days walk was stunning. Saw lots of brilliant birds...exotic flowers and the old Kali Baba sitting naked in a stream...mumbling his Kali mantra. He waved and gave me a toothless grin.
When I woke up I needed to shit QUICK! As I ran out I heard Master and Kate laughing. I managed to get well away from the cave before it all sprayed out...just managing to pull my lunghi off before the rush. I spent an hour or so down at the stream...cleaning up and thinking about my return to England. When I walked back into the cave...my stomach turned over...again. Kate...naked...astride...our Master.
Very calmly he said, "it is good to shit immediately it wants to return to the Earth. Western people are full of shit. They don't empty like you did then." As he spoke, his magnificent, lithe, muscular frame trembled like a dragonfly. "Now you're empty you can appreciate our tantric embrace."
As Kate smiled and groaned Master rolled his eyes. "Shock is necessary for learning, Tim. In shock...impressions go deep...and can reach essence...and only by reaching essence...can we transform...and so, develop our soul-seed. This is the beginning of your new life. In seventeen days time I shall impregnate the waiting egg. When this occurs you will not be here...but you will be involved in ways you do not as yet...understand."
All that was said to me as I remained rooted in the mouth of the cave. Eventually all my animal panic passed...and then our Master told me to walk slowly around the tantric lesson...repeating the Tara mantra...whilst bearing in mind...all bodies belong to The Holy Mother. Yes, all bodies belong to Mother.
After what seemed a very long time of circumambulating the riveting exhibition...whilst taking into account that Kate used to be my uptight brother's loyal wife...who I had fallen in love with...yes, despite the riveting exhibition of Kate...still vibrating astride Master's radiating form...I began to notice not just bodies...but suddenly I noticed that the circle I was making by walking round and round had a definite violet atmosphere. And...to my amazement...the violet sphere was steadily expanding beyond the circle I was delineating.
"Only in deep stillness...is Mother Earth...our existence...really felt...really appreciated. The child who will be born in this sacred cave...will be the earthly vehicle for someone...we already know...someone who is devoted to both of us. How fortunate for us all Tim, that Kate followed her deep feeling intuition...and through searching for you...found the space here for her soul to awake and blossom.
Now you must never forget Tim...never forget The Great Goddess Tara...never forget to be grateful...especially if Kali cuts you down."
I started to shake so violently he beckoned me to sit down beside them. " Tim, you are shaking because you--the true Self---feel trapped inside the mind. Throughout your life you've constantly imagined that you can only exist inside the mind. Allow your Self to be centred in the Self. When the Self is centred in the Self it can receive the true light of Being. Then the Light of the Spirit cleanses the mind of all its beliefs about the Self.
When the mind has shat out all its crap about this and that...and is very, very clear...the emotional sphere gradually becomes neutral, then its vibrations become appropriate to any situation. Your body Tim, right now, has the opportunity of being nourished by fresh vibrations. Tim, don't allow your Self to be enslaved to Self-made illusions. You see, those Self-constructed illusions link up to each other like a huge railway system... and then you find yourself being shunted along...which makes you feel trapped. Feeling trapped, the Self generates negative views...which become heavy foggy feelings.
Now Tim, you mustn't try to negate those feelings if they arrive at your station. If you negate them they will become stronger. The power of negation is a Divine tool, but you must only use this tool to help others and your Self realise the true LIFE. Only after you've examined an issue from all angles Tim...only then are you able to negate without being emotionally negative.
So you have to first…examine the issue from the angle of the heart, then from the angle of the body, then from the angle of spirit and spiritual teaching, and finally from the angle of the intellect. Then if it still appears right to negate an issue, you will be able to do so without becoming unbalanced.
If you negate from an unbalanced position...the negative energy will flow back into your energy body and will pollute your Self. It is only by being centred in the Self your life will have any true constancy. Living within a constant light you will never become imprisoned again. No longer will you be shunted around by circumstances. All the railway tracks of the mind will disappear...but be careful of jumping out of the mind and becoming unbalanced through jumping into the Spirit or the emotions or the body."
He chuckled. "Yes, sex is very wonderful. It a great opportunity for meditation, and for the development of imagination, and above all, for surrendering to love. Probably shifting into the body is the best route from the ego-mind to being truly centred in the Self...for the body...as you've recently experienced with Kate...has its own intelligence...and when the Self wakes up in the body...the body responds warmly to its unearthly benefactor. So stop viewing Kate and I from your mind Tim. All viewing is a form of judgement...a way of generating negative energy."
I felt so ignorant and weak. "Stop reflecting on your old illusions Tim. You're behaving as if you were a nut and bolt being moved about by an invisible magnet. Your mind is the magnet, charged up by the fear that you're on the verge of being rejected.
Some ignorant people make themselves like lead so that they can't be moved about by other people's desires. They just sink into oblivion. Yes, they disappear because they refuse to enter into their own lead...which is the state of their heart. They reduce the window of the heart to a pin-prick...believing that if the little hole got bigger...they'd die. Such people have no love for their own soul. If someone suggests that they enter their own leaden feeling, they become paranoid. They think that the one who is making the suggestion is trying to control them or even destroy them. Are you feeling more real?"
I nodded, and Kate and master drew me to them, and we all embraced each other. After a long moment of sheer bliss, Master continued:- "In Sanskrit Tim, there is that word you've heard me use a lot---'Skandas'. As you know, it means `impressions'...with the implication that traces are still in the mind left over from previous lives. One could call Skandas latent...unconscious tendencies. In my opinion 99.99% of the world's population are totally unaware of WHY they are HERE! This being so, they automatically interpret the present in terms of past Skandas.
Tim, let's say, in a past life you were murdered by a woman you loved. A blond woman...with bright blue eyes. In this life you see a blond woman walking towards you. She gives you a warm smile, and you're shocked to find yourself trembling in fear. And of course you don't know why? So Tim, it is essential for you to remember who you are...for you must clear out the vaults of all your skandas. What Kate and I are giving you, is an opportunity to burn up all your seeds of jealousy."
A massive wave of weeping overtook my soul. I never realised before I had so much buried hurt...and whilst I howled my heart out, Master and Kate continued their close mingling, matinee performance. When I eventually got there, my howling was louder than Kate's orgasmic pandemonium. Our Master was laughing all the way to his Alchemical Bank. I hugged them both...with my awakened female Self!
31st August 1991 Delhi. In a few hours time I will be boarding my plane. I've just woke up in yet another crummy hotel. I didn't know who I was or where I was...it's late afternoon....very smelly....very sticky....with endless noise from all around. The street below is competing with hell. What am I doing? I'm going to England to retrieve a pile of writing...which I don't really care about. It's utterly MAD! I can't really remember what I wrote. It's not my idea but Kate's under The Master. Please note:- `THE' not `MY'. The master is not my Master any more.
He's become Kate's Master...in my mind...and when I'm back in England...in another week's time when she's ovulating...he'll become the father of her child...and where will I be when the child is born? Will I be with them?...helping to deliver the baby? Will I still be alive? I have a strange premonition that this is goodbye to India...for this body. It's a weird thing to think...but then again Tim Lawson died when I left England thirty five years ago. Joe became Tim Lawson. I really want to find Joe. At least I know how to find Stuart. I hate the thought of having to have it out with Stuart. I hate the very idea of England. Of course I don't have to stay. Just get my writing and split. Before I left, Kate's old master told me to study `chaos theory' and discuss it with my brother. He said it was the essence of Hinduism moving through the modern view. He said it might convert Stuart to being open to change. He grinned and said very softly, "I think your meeting with Stuart will be a crossroads for both of you. The next time we meet, you, Tim, will be looking through different eyes. Your sense of time-scale will be very new."
They looked so very happy together. I didn't feel jealous at all. I felt very unreal. They were sending me off on a journey which meant nothing to me at all. My writing means more to Kate then it does to me...maybe because she's handled it much more recently than me...even so, I feel it's already a millstone around my neck. Presuming I get it back from Stuart...what am I going to do with it? It's just a load of fragments...notes for a book...I'll probably never write. Maybe I shouldn't even get on the plane...but now I've got nowhere to go. I mean I can't go back to the cave. I can't even stay in India now that they've issued me with an exit visa!
Fate has got me in its grip...which is exactly Stuart's view about me...as expressed in his ghastly book `The Power of Delusion'. He thinks I was tricked into believing I could alter FATE...into believing I could outwit the laws of physics, biology and chemistry. But Kate's Master taught me that ` when the yogi has realised Atman, which is his true Self, birthless and beyond the range of the mind and emotions, then the laws of Karma no longer touch him. That God, Atman, by whose power the whole universe is born...in which it abides and to which it finally returns like bubbles and waves in the sea...is realised by the wise. In Atman there is neither knowledge nor ignorance. Neither unity nor duality. Nor unity-duality. Neither smallness nor greatness. Neither emptiness nor fullness. All that only exists in the mind...and the mind is not Atman.'
On the plane I'm going to really study this `Power of Delusion' which is really an attack on The Avadhoot Gita. Maybe in a few days time...if I can find Joe...we can examine `The Power of Delusion' together...before I let Stuart know I'm in England. After discussing it with Joe...I might decide to not get the original manuscript papers back from Stuart. But if I see Mum...she's bound to phone Stuart....so I'll have to wait to see Mum. O.K., now I've got the sequence. First, read `The Power of Delusion'....then give it to Joe to study. Discuss with Joe...and only then...either see Stuart or not....and then go home to see Mum.
Tehran. First stop. I was relieved to be on the ground. The air turbulence was truly TERRIBLE. Everyone was shit scared including the English hostesses white with anxiety. Thank God we're going to wait for conditions to improve. Stuart's book is totally MAD!. As far as I can see he's twisted every concept I put forward. He makes out that Simon's relationship to Dawn, is a projection of my yearning to escape from the clutches of the Indian generated ILLUSION...which I haven't got the power to do. He thinks Dawn represents the seductive Master who prevents me from growing up and learning what the universe is really like! Because he thinks I'm trapped within the Indian feminine fantasy idea of reality...I secretly yearn to have a new education...which is symbolised by Simon and Cesar's Greg Riley Institute...but Dawn comes along...and stands in the way. What fucking nonsense! What stands in the way is addiction to old patterns. And addiction happens because one avoids being creative...being FRESH! In other words, one lives out old Harry Manic movies because one is dishonest. Dishonesty is STALE. Truth is FRESH...Fresh...FRESH!
(END OF FAX TRANSMISSION)
As I ended reading the fax I had to suddenly race out for a shit just like Tim. I just made it to my bucket. I think that Joe must be inserting these diary entries of Tim's. Where are we? Did Kate actually give birth? Has Tim actually incarnated in the Master's child?...or what if Kate did have twins...the incarnation of Tim and Stuart!? And who is Dawn and the Greg Riley Institute? It must be still to come. Joe's an idiot! By inserting those last entries from Tim's diaries he's spoilt the Simon-Cesar story for me. Well I think I'm going to write to Kate today...and find out the score. I can feel the connection....getting stronger. I wonder how much Joe really knows about what's going on in the cave? He must have known that Kate was pregnant when he made the floppy disc of Tim's diary...a few years ago. If it really was twins....they would be two years old now. But why didn't Joe mention anything about this possibility before? It's ridiculous that I'm sitting here...away from it all...in the wonderful Scottish mountains...on a brilliant still late winter sunny early morning...getting involved in whether people I've never met...are parents or not!?
And then there's Tim's novel....and what am I'm going to do with these three hand-written foolscap notebooks of mine? Take them to India and read them to The Master and Kate? First, I must get `Inside-Out' privately printed, and give a copy to the Master so he can read it to his twins when they grow up! If the Master saw Tim and Stuart's deaths on the cards...and was already preparing for their incarnation in his cave...he must know of my future.
I've just come back from a long walk. I've discovered that there are gradations of quality to whiteness. The summit of the mountain behind my cabin, was this afternoon, whiter than the whitest white I've ever seen. Now it's early evening. A silhouette of a wild mallard blurs past the window in the swiftly fading light.
I think I've got to take all this stuff as a warning. Maybe I'm destined to become a yogi in the Himalayas...plugged in to the Master...but that's no guarantee I will be BALANCED. And the balance depends on depth. Deep...Deep ROOTS. Being awake in one's roots . Because the roots are in something....extremely real...and totally unrepresentable. My duty to that is to live here...not represent where I live. The source does not need representation.
(NEW FAX TRANSMISSION)
"Could you tell us," asked a blonde bombshell in her early thirties, sitting very upright in the front row, "how you got onto the line of thought which passes through the activities of extra-terrestrials?"
Simon held his breath...and savoured the flavour of his moment. He had just finished delivering his controversial lecture on `The urgent need for a practical non-dogmatic education'. It was the last address of the two week seminar held at the Greg Riley Research Institute which Cesar and Simon had set up nine months after Simon's encounter with `The Goddess'. (Possibly the Spirit of Sarah Jenkins....Shanti's soul?).
Cesar had turned up the following day. ( Simon was practising Tantric Sex with Annie when the bell rang)....yes, Cesar...beaming in the dull passageway....congratulated Simon on his sacred initiation beyond the veil. After the `Brothers in The Spirit' had sat together in silence for a considerable time...in the kitchen...(Annie stayed quiet in the bedroom and was not referred to by either Simon or Cesar)....Cesar...without any explanation produced an oriental silver antique casket from his leather brief case, and placed it in front of his astonished apprentice.
On opening the Persian work of art...Simon was confronted by his Indian bracelet...his rings...and two thousand-five hundred pounds...as it were...unmolested. Simon broke down and wept.
" Come on my friend," said Cesar tapping Simon's hairy wrist. " We have much WORK to do. Your original casket and contents had come in very handy for furnishing the quite small, but very beautiful old warehouse we now have...rent free. Your casket fetched over £5,000 at Southebys. This warehouse in East London has been donated to us by one of my admirers."
Suddenly...everything had gone quiet...inside Simon's mind. ( When the bell had rung Simon had imagined it was the Drug Squad!) In the aftermath of that distorted instant...he thought the only sensible answer to his frightened bunny rabbit condition...was to split...immediately...with Cesar. And that's exactly, within a few hours, what he did...forsaking his mala beads...dope and his mad Harold story...with no forwarding address
One day," said Simon still enjoying the particles of admiration being beamed at him by the enthralled audience...(around sixty folk)..."I realised I had been keeping my intelligence at bay...ever since I was a wee child. I had been walled off from the source...through asking the wrong question." Simon breathed deeply and let his gaze go out of focus.
"My awakening began with the idea ` Why do we disobey God...and keep his love at bay? When I was about seven years old I used to get into a terrible state every night in my lonely bed. I was born in 1945...the year the Yanks decided to fry the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki...and just before they decided to poison the Vietnamese Spirit. They reckoned they'd have to do to the Vietnamese what they had done to the Amerindians...destroy the fabric of their culture...and turn them into vermin. By the time I was thirty, my soul was giddy from reeling through the horrors of the Korean War and all the rest of the well publicised barbarism.
Every night I tried to understand `The Fall' as promoted by Miss Evans in our pokey little musty Methodist Sunday School. Why couldn't Adam have seen the trap? The apple swelled beyond my sense of sanity. It filled my bedroom...which echoed within my brother's absence...for he'd been sent to boarding School...to get totally brain-washed into thinking he was being trained to understand how the world works...whilst I was trapped inside this massive apple.
I became nothing but an insignificant maggot doomed to DIE! Then the apple became an animal. I was now trapped inside a serpent...a dragon. I'd already been eaten. I banged my head from side to side accompanied by a cacophony of internal...pulsating...jungle sounds. This continued every night until I would eventually drop off between two and three in the morning. This led to me being always late for school...where I would usually fall asleep in the classroom. I got absolutely no support whatsoever for my wretched condition....neither from my scientist father, my school teachers or my fellow children. Whilst I was conscious that people, just like my mum and dad, were being destroyed with napalm...no one around me gave a toss. My conscience was out of the box and on fire. So I was put down by everyone and it went on and on until I was thirty.
One day whilst gazing at some huge cumulous clouds, my soul formed a new question. `What sort of god rules this whirld? ' Yes, that was IT! Then something truly amazing started happening to me. My entire existence...on every level began to self-transform itself. The answer was obvious. The god ruling the Earth is a murderer...a WAR MAKER...a NOISE MAKER...A POLLUTION MAKER...A CONCRETE-JUNGLE-FREAK...PSYCHOTIC MANIPULATOR...A RAPIST...A PORNOGRAPHER...A NECROPHILIAC. Suddenly my mind had become TOTALLY CLEAR. There was no cover-up I could not see through. I was of course in great danger. At a stroke I'd become a spy. A spy for TRUTH. A spy for LOVE. And we all know the fate of spies...if they're caught.
In that sudden shift...I could see the way my own mind had been programmed to reject LOVE...and the more I resolved to be a spy for love...the more my sub-conscious issued its controlling threats...but I couldn't...any longer...be controlled by these conned-senses slogans. I was no longer in the position to be controlled by such injunctions as :-- `No one will believe you'...`You're going MAD'...`You've become possessed by your own negativity'...`You'll be wiped out if you disclose what you see'...`Everyone has to lie to survive'...`It's not possible to live the TRUTH today'...`No-one can regain their innocence once they've lied to their Self'..`You're shop-soiled so stop pretending you're innocent'...etcetera...etcetera.
So the next question arose...` How did this god gain control of the Earth?' Well the answer to that question is a very, very long story which Greg Riley's book `Against the odds' goes a long way to making very clear. One way or another...we human beings who really love life...who really love our planet...who thrive on deep friendship...who love the true creator/creatress of this universe of consciousness...who love children...and nature...animals...plants...have to wake up and admit that we have invited the Orion Mob into our midst.
Yes, we have invited these heart-less technology freaks...to take us over and robot-eyes our souls...and cover up our once very beautiful planet...with tarmac...concrete and metal. Being Power-freaks, they really believe that LOVE is the outcome of self-delusion, and reserved for simple minded earthlings who actually need a lot of heavy discipline, to liberate them from their idiotic fantasy existence. They...The Orion Mob...get off on battles...pecking orders...T.V. ...Computer war games....computer `music' and nuclear fall out. Their relationships to one another are totally militaristic. What they would call `being close to one of us'...is examining your history...your potential to serve them...your IMAGE on one of their monitors aboard one of their vast mother ships.
So what part does our conventional educational establishment play in the Orion take-over plan? I think it is obvious that they've infiltrated their ideas into every curriculum on EARTH. Every child today is being taught to be frightened of the future. Every child is being taught to suppress intuition...the teaching of the IN. The inner Self. Every child is being taught to be cynical...to `think' love is sex...in fact children are being taught that love is an unreliable fantasy...that what is reliable is technology...the so-called cold scientific viewpoint. So every child is being driven into mental conformity...soul rigidity. Yes, every child is being conditioned to let its life be used by the Orion Mafia.
The mind of Mankind...as Greg Riley wrote...is being used as a factory to produce Orion virus. Every child is being treated as an empty electron to be trained to orbit a nucleus of Orion viewpoints. The child is placed in an orbit of Self-concern...where it feels alien to life...and from this negative position...it is trained to uphold `positive values'.
This point is essential to understand...because if you don't grasp this fact...you will not SEE the urgent need for a completely radically new education for our children. An education which does at least two things at the same time. The children must be taught...by example...how to operate in the time/space of real intelligence...which is love in action...and second, they must be taught the truth of what is actually going on in the whirld. The new education will de-condition the child's mind, so it will be capable of thinking with its own feeling-Self. This new education is to be centred in SELF REAL-Ise-ation."
"Yes," replied Simon locating the speaker...a heavily bearded Jewish figure aged about
fifty...sat two rows back from the exciting blond woman.
"Have you got time right now...to go into a further question concerning your final
"Certainly," replied Simon sitting down and sipping some spring water.
" Would you agree that parents are unlikely to encourage their children to truly take
up a real Earth-loving cosmic education...if the parents themselves aren't orientated
in a true love-space?"
Simon nodded, and gave the sallow faced unorthodox Jew wearing heavy glasses and
a big fawn sweater...a strong beam of validating admiration particles.
"I agree totally. This realization is precisely the reason why the founders have set up
this institute. We intend to offer courses next Spring, for parents who wish to be
involved in our plan to set up private schools dedicated to true education. Anyone
who wants to attend these courses should see Annie in reception."
"Mr Mathews?" An Indian gentleman...well dressed in a pin stripe navy blue suit...a
shock of grey hair...wearing rimless glasses...also about fifty. " Do I take it that the
main line of your ideas on education...is social awareness?"
Simon nodded. He relished the way Indians spoke English. " You could put it that
way," Simon purred.
"So it would seem to me," continued the Brahmin, "that the largest portion of what
would need to be taught...the State would consider very very dangerous...subversive...not to
"For instance Mr Mathews...it would be essential for every child benefitting from the
New Greg Riley inspired education, to know why other less fortunate children...and
adults...that is, all those unable for one reason or another to become acquainted with
the New Education...behave and look the way they do. The Greg Riley educated
children would have to be given a totally different interpretation of history!"
"Correct." This Brahmin was on the ball...and charging Simon up.
"Do you imagine...Mr Mathews...the State will allow all this to occur?" The sweating
Indian pulled out a pure white handkerchief...cleaned his glasses...and then mopped
"We will see. This Institute is the cutting edge. If the State gets in our way...what will
we do? Certainly we won't draw on paradigms embedded in conventional history.
What is essential is that we BEGIN...and avoid getting bogged down in anticipating
difficulties. It takes great courage to voyage into the unknown...and keep going."
"Mr Mathews?" It was the enticing blond in the front.
"When you awoke to your true Self...you became a spy...for love."
Simon nodded. He liked her quality...a lot.
" I presume that you no longer consider yourself a spy. Is that correct?"
"You mean in the sense that my position is no longer a secret?"
"Exactly."...and she blushed a little.
"Well as you probably have already discovered...real love is a great mystery...which
can never be revealed to those who wish to control or oppose love. So although I've
tied my colours to the mast...my direction remains a mystery...even to me! It's like...I
get my direction from a source, No being...however powerful and negative...can
Also...I'm still a spy...in the sense that what I can see...seems to be a
jumbled-up code...to those blind to the love and support I feel I'm getting right
now...from the realm of the Spirit. Through an amazing Grace, the Spirit of Truth and
Reality took me out of the negative WHIRLD." Simon emphasised the word `whirld'
by saying it very slowly.
"Once I was free of existing in that death zone...I could see
clearly...how human beings are being robot-eyesd by the black Orion angels of death,
who actually haven't a clue as to what motivates a real loving human being."
"Do you mean," asked the brightly dressed blond...a budding...(unknown to
Simon)...short story writer...in her beautifully articulated Glasgow voice..."an Orion
agent is unable to read an unprogrammed mind?"
"Exactly." Simon was enjoying the challenge to stay balanced in his true Self. "You
see...The Orion Mafia is certainly not the only source of soul-virus in our Solar
system...but I'm sorry to say...that will be another lecture. The first duty you have
...we all have...is to master an unshakeable orientation in the eternal reality of
"Mr Mathews," said the Jewish architect. "Priests and mystics have talked and talked
about the power of love for thousands of years...yet all that's been said and written
down...has failed to transform human society. In other words...it doesn't seem
possible to transmit love's power through linguistic concepts...yet aren't you...right
now...trying to do this?"
"No, I'm not trying to transmit love. I'm hopefully transmitting the idea that real
awareness is required of us all. Real intelligence. If you really feel deeply the
implications of what I've been saying...you will inevitably come to a real life CRISIS.
You will SEE...FEEL where you actually are. What atmosphere you actually inhabit.
Is it FRESH...or is it STALE? Unless you...right now...are aware of where you're
coming from...where you're at...no spark will connect us. No connecting spark can
happen between souls if there's no GAP between them. Just like a car's distributor
points. No gap...no spark. If you try to close the gap between us by using the old old
story...nothing will happen!"
"Excuse me Mr Mathews," the architect chimed in, " what do you mean by the old
"Have you not noticed that children are still being taught...like we were...that
humanity will never ever really change...that the whirld will never really ever become
heavenly? Children are still being brain-washed by a very old story which stands in the way of
their ability to discover their true Self...and therefore they never experience the Self's
mysterious potential to BALANCE our whole being...MIND...HEART...SPIRIT...BODY.
There is now...and has been for some time...a New Story which centres on the IDEA of
forgiveness. No more eye for an eye...tooth for a tooth...the essence of the Old Testament Law.
You could think of the New Story begining after God-free had second thoughts on his `Garden
Judgement' and disguised himself as a bloke like me or you...to find out what it's like
to feel rejected."
"Are you Jewish Mr Mathews?"
"I'm not...and it doesn't matter that you are...in fact it might be the very gap we need for a real
spark to connect us. You see the Old Story says it is important that there is a clear distinction
between Jews and Gentiles. That's the story of `THE FALL'. It says we always fall for the
suggestion that we've been deceived...and will be deceived again and again...and so we will
remain Self-deceivers. Deceived as to the nature of our true Self. The old story keeps revealing
the consequences of what happens when we fall once more for that Old Story...which says
`you'll always be a VICTIM of deception...and therefore will always have to suffer...and suffer
The New Story says something like...`look I'm sorry I--(The Father)-- was so harsh towards you
when you became curious about your Self--the apple--and started to worm your way
inside...which upset my well thought-out future (garden) plans. Yes I got really angry when you
tried to alter my picture...when you turned your back on my plans. That's why I threw both of
you out of my picture...and thereby condemmed you to the victim story. But now I've had a taste
of my own medicine, (rejection), and I didn't like it one bit.'
So, the New Story says `let's lay our cards on the table...and work together...to create that world
we'd all like to live in...now that we SEE we don't have to repeat the Old Story.'
God-free--(The Father)-- realised he was living in a stale story...generated by his own narrow-
mindedness...his own judgement...not based on experience...but on his own unrealistic,
unexplained, unbalanced IDEAL. He could only change his story by living through a crisis."
"Are you in fact trying to precipitate a crisis...in all of us here...right NOW?" The poor architect
looked really worried and hunched his shoulders forward revealing the exact area of his
greasy bald spot.
"I certainly am," replied Simon relishing the possibility of some real ACTION..."but of course,
none of us will enter the New Story-space if we're not prepared to leave the Old Story
space...which is really a space generated by dishonesty. You must see that. This requires 100%
honesty with yourself. If you face this now...face the fact that your Self feels stale...you'll wake
up to what real choice means. Either you'll remain a disguised robot...or you'll allow
intelligence to eliminate what ties you down to that which is suppressing your soul."
"But what if one is not gifted...like you Mr Mathews...with great intelligence?"
Simon opened his heart to the grey polo-necked African maths teacher in his early forties and
said, "Everyone is capable of reaching out to an infinite intelligence...if they will themselves to
do so. If you're genuinely SICK to death of being stale...phoney...fake...rigid...then you've got
nothing to lose...but jump into the real space of reality!"
"Mr Mathews." (The Indian Brahmin). "Do you envisage children being taught along similar
lines as this discussion?"
"I certainly do."
The Brahmin paused...cleared his tobacco stained throat and said, "Mr Mathews...you're
suggesting a spilling of the whole can of beans and...worms. Yes?"
"Indeed...my dear. There is no other way that we can prevent our human race from becoming
"ALL the beans Mr Mathews? Do you realise what you are saying?"
Their eyes met...Simon felt the spark...and he was away...in a cave...in India...looking out to a
fantastic mountain...its huge pristine peak...blazing WHITE in an unbelievable blue blue blue
BLUE speaking sky. All notions of focus disappeared...as the feeling of utter quietness hushed
his entire being...his being which began to unfold...like a Japanese paper flower...no...more like
sap moving through an ancient tree in all directions...feeling-out...a current...yes, a warm
current...the current of real peace. PEACE. How incredible. Peace really is an actual reality. The
reality of an uncanny solidity...as if one was made of solid warm golden light. Simon opened
his eyes and realised that everyone in the large room was in the grip of this unworldly light.
Everyone had their eyes closed......for a long time.
"This is what happens when the Self decides to look at all the beans," said Simon very softly.
"We re-discover the element we are living in. Just like a fish waking up to water...the Self
awakens to reality. In reality we can examine every bean in detail."
"It's like we are the beans...this room is the can...and you're the Self tipping all of us out into
Simon nodded as the Brahmin continued in an excited voice. "I understand now Mr Mathews
our situation. Teaching our children to be real is the only way we can prevent our human
world from becoming totally negative."
"Do you know why The Orion Confederation chose to travel on a negative path, Mr Mathews?"
"No,"Simon replied...to the young hippy looking woman sat at the back, next to the varnished
pine wall. "To them, battle and conquest is the essence of reality. They find the idea of
friendship sickening. They're mono-maniacs...who have no use for dialogue. All their moves are
mediated through status considerations...look I think that's enough. I'm running out of steam.
Let's have some tea or coffee...and please...don't clap...I find it offensive. Thankyou."
(END OF FAX